Simon, 65, sits in a corner condo unit that feels like a brick oven. He hasn’t turned on the air conditioning to save money. He doesn’t actually know what he is saving for anymore, but old habits die hard.
For the past two hours, he has been staring blankly at the wall, his gaze slowly drifting toward the balcony. He isn’t looking at the famous Pattaya sunset. He is looking at the exit.
For the past two hours, Simon has been running an internal pre-flight checklist, tracing the exact steps of how he got here. The checklist is almost complete. Simon is nearly cleared for takeoff.
1. Home Connections. [CHECKED]
He last spoke to his daughter on Christmas 2024. Or maybe it was ’23. After the nightmare divorce in 2017, they drifted apart. But Simon gave them everything—the house in the suburbs, the bulk of his life savings. His daughter has no reason to blame him. Her mother pushed him to this.
2. Visa Status. [CHECKED]
His retirement visa expired 20 days ago. The visa agent calls him every afternoon, but the overstay fine plus the renewal fee is now more than his entire monthly pension, which doesn’t even arrive until next month.
3. Finances. [CHECKED]
His banking app shows a balance of 16 baht. There is a plastic piggy bank on the counter with about 70 baht in loose coins. It’s enough to buy street food for one day. It’s not enough to live. And tomorrow, he needs 700 baht for Pat. Because he promised he would always support her, no matter what.
4. Pat. [CHECKED]
They met in 2018. Everything was perfect. Simon was a remote video editor with a solid freelance income and a pension. Pat left the neon lights of the bar for him. He promised to take care of her forever. They bought a condo together, and he put half in her name to prove how much he valued her. They financed a used Fortuner in her name. She moved her kid to Pattaya, and Simon paid for a good school because education matters.
Then came Covid. The freelance work dried up. They took on debt. The family in the village still needed their monthly cut. First, Simon sold his expensive editing camera. Over the next three years, he sold almost everything else. There isn’t even a TV in the room anymore. And then came the diagnosis.
5. The Illness. [CHECKED]
In 2019, right before the world shut down, he got the terrible news. He had felt something was wrong for a while, but ignored it. By 2020, he couldn’t work at all. He lived purely on his pension—or rather, he didn’t live. He just used it to service his and Pat’s ballooning, suffocating debts.
6. The Betrayal. [CHECKED]
Last month, the loan sharks stopped calling and started waiting in the parking lot. They couldn’t even leave the building. There was nothing left to pawn. After a massive screaming match, Pat looked at him and said, “Why are you torturing all of us? I’m going back to work. I have a customer who wants to see me.”
Simon snapped. He called her a prostitute. She walked out.
The next morning, she came back and brought him food. He refused to eat it. She placed 2,000 baht on the table, told him to pay the electric bill, and left. Forever.
7. The Friend. [UNDER REVIEW]
Simon has exactly one buddy in Pattaya: Dave. But Simon never shared his struggles. In fact, he always bragged to Dave about how lucky he was to have found a “good woman,” while mocking Dave for messing around with bar girls. The thought of calling Dave and begging for help is a level of shame Simon simply cannot swallow.
Simon looks back at the balcony. The sliding glass door is already open.
Suddenly, his old phone lights up on the table. It’s Dave.
Simon doesn’t answer.
A WhatsApp notification pops onto the screen: “Old man, everything ok? You haven’t answered in a week. If you don’t pick up, I’m calling the police.”
The phone starts ringing again.
Simon looks at the balcony. His hand slowly reaches toward the phone.
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